What Your Favorite Christmas Musical Says About You
It's the holiday season, which means it's the perfect time to celebrate your favorite holiday stories.
It’s that time of year again: the holidays are here and theatres all around the country are putting on their favorite stories about the season. Whether it’s an elf on a narwhal-approved journey, some ghosts terrorizing a rich man, or a bunch of 20 somethings rebelling against the man, all of these shows listed below are someone’s holiday favorite, and in some cases a holiday tradition. So I’m here to honor another tradition: Buzzfeed-style lists that break down your personality into something completely unrelated!
Still, it’s fun.
So here’s my best read on what your favorite holiday musical says about YOU!
Elf
You’re either the funniest person in the room, or you think you are. You have a love of witty one liners and physical comedy. You possibly have major Daddy issues…but you have no issues embodying Christmas joy.
In fact, you’re probably the reason every store puts out their Christmas merchandise by dinner time on Thanksgiving, and the reason everyone else says “no holiday music till December, PLEASE!”
A Christmas Story
If this is your favorite holiday musical, you are very much a family oriented person. You like the simple things in life, and value time spent with your loved ones. You have the caring nature of a mother, but you also tend to find yourself in sticky situations…but the less I say about your tongue on a pole, the safer for work this piece will be. You may also have a thing for legs in high heels, but that secret is safe with me.
Actually, somehow this musical seems quite horny.
Let’s just say that’s on you, too.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
You’re a curmudgeon with a heart of gold. If the Dr. Seuss story is your favorite holiday musical, you love to be a contrarian just for the joy of seeing how other people react. You love memes and other silly humor, but you also love a bit of rhyming poetry. There’s also a strong chance you’re a furry (we listen, but we don’t judge).
Another option here though is…you’re basic.
I mean, come on - it’s the Grinch. It’s the most commercialized Christmas story after Santa these days, and you can’t walk through a department store checkout line without seeing Grinch faces on every type of merch imaginable. This version doesn’t even feature Christine Baranski, so maybe try expanding your horizons three sizes.
Scrooge!
You love to read, and you love a catchy tune! The musical adaptation of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol was first presented as a film in 1970, then adapted for the stage in 1992. You’re likely someone that gets super into Halloween, as the SFX here are top-notch. Or perhaps you’re someone that dwells a lot on your past mistakes. Perhaps you’re someone that can’t slow down enough to enjoy right now. Perhaps your anxiety about the future keeps you up at night. Or you’re a small child with a crutch but oddly no specified illness.
If this is your favorite holiday musical, you either want to dismantle capitalism, OR you are sitting atop quite a fortune and…babe, you might need to be visited by some ghosts yourself!
White Christmas
You have an appreciation for the finer things in life. You like your life like you like your musicals: lush, classic, and occasionally perhaps a bit out of touch with the rest of us here in the year of our Santa 2025.
The 2009 musical based on the 1954 Paramount film is a holiday classic, just like you. You might be a little old fashioned, but you’ve got class, legacy and staying power.
Annie
If your favorite holiday musical is Annie, I hypothesize that you are a child. There’s two options: you are either a very energetic child who can “belt,” or you are a continuously optimistic child-at-heart who loves to look on the bright side of life. Me personally, I’ve always wanted the Star-to-be to get mugged…just imagine:
“Three bucks! Two bags! One—” “HAND OVER THE PURSE LADY!”
Rent
You think you’re really cool because Rent is technically a holiday musical. You probably thought I’d forget to include it here, and you’d be able to run to the comments saying “um actually, you could technically have included Rent.” Well I did. There.
You go against the grain, go insane, go maaaaaaad. You have a love of nostalgia, and a dubious relationship with gentrification? You definitely have a deep love for 90’s grunge, and I hope you and the other members of your bisexual throuple have a lovely holiday season.
Here’s Love (Or A Miracle on 34th Street: the Musical.)
Not many people know about this Meredith Wilson flop adaptation of A Miracle on 34th Street. If you do, you’re probably an octogenarian, or a middle aged homosexual who loves musical theatre and reminds people at parties that The Music Man beat West Side Story at the Tony Awards. I’m…just now realizing what that says about me.
Nuncrackers
You are a nun….or a Catholic. Either way, I’m sorry.
She Loves Me
You have impeccable taste. You’re sweet, and a true romantic. You may not have the most financial success, but you guarantee a lush vibe and endearing character, which makes for a wonderful night. If this is your favorite holiday musical, you are a connoisseur of musical theatre, and we should be friends!
So which one is your favorite? If you’re a subscriber, head to the Queer Reviewed Subscriber Chat and let me know! Otherwise, thanks for reading and I hope you have a wonderful safe holiday season, and a Happy New Year!